Well, after a pretty hellish false start at Heathrow, I’m finally back in the equally hellish heat of Phoenix. I’m toying with the idea of resurrecting the ArizonARSE blog while I’m here, but debating whether I might just as well update via this blog instead. We shall see.
The word which rhymes with SUX is LUX. LUX is a coffee shop in Phoenix. LUX is full of people on Apple computers* wearing Mickey Mouse T-shirts. Buying a coffee at LUX involves the kind of negotiation I would expect if you were to have to plead with bailiffs who have come to repossess some of your items from your house:
“Well, look I know you have to take objects to the value of £500, but I’ll be really upset if you take the TV”.
“Well, yeah, sure we could do that mocha with one shot in theory, but I don’t want to do that for you, because we serve all our coffee with two shots. I wouldn’t be happy serving you with just one because we don’t do that here.”
Something which doesn’t SUX is the Transformers movie, a movie about which I’d heard mainly bad things. Essentially the film contained everything I wanted – fast-paced action, a few dreadfully cheesy one-liners (”more than meets the eye” is recontextualised in a painful chat up line) and a Prime ~ Megatron dual which is worthy of what every 25-30-year-old man has been waiting for for 15 years.
Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t perfect. Despite keeping reassuringly paced for the duration, it still could have been 30 minutes shorter at very little expense of plot. That aside, the love story sub-plot is thankfully slim. It was admittedly cheesy, and the binary malevolence / benevolence of the Decepticons / Autobots couldn’t have been more extreme. And yet, this was part of the charm of the cartoons and comics in the first place. Prime is a selfless leader, Megatron a kind of Machiavellian electro-Hitler whose fiery relationship with Starscream is bred on distrust and competition. Machines on both sides make mistakes. They are not faultless killing machines. And, as my companion for the movie Damon Moss astutely noted, the only Autobot to die was clearly the only black character, Jazz. Old movie habits die hard, I guess.
Speaking of Die Hard, I still need to see Bruce Willis take out a helicopter with a car.
* Yes, I own an Apple computer and am a slave to their products. A am a hypocrite.